Listening is more than Hearing

As a communication skills trainer I know that listening is the most important yet most misunderstood communication skill. My father once told me how a  wise old owl sat on an old oak tree; the more he saw the less he spoke and the less he spoke the more he heard so why cant we be like that wise old bird? I never understood what he meant until I started work.

We communicate with one another to impress others, inform others or to try to change others opinions. In our complex society if we do not learn how to listen effectively we will have some major difficulties in our professional and personal developments and relationships. One common misunderstanding that I find many people have on communication skills courses is simply that they do not realise that there is a major difference in hearing and listening. It’s a case of talk to the hand because the ears are not listening.

I can recall countless times through college when the lecture said this will be on the test and starts talking but it quite frankly is going in one ear and out the other. Think about it why would you as a father, friend, grandmother, sister, uncle or professional not want to improve your listening skills?

As a communication skills trainer I can tell you many reasons that you would want to improve your listening skills, these can include the following;

1. Improve Relationships. Simple
2. Improve work abilities. Wouldn’t you love to give your self an extra push in the right direction of the infamous promotion?
3. Better Assess Skills. Listening can help you assess your strengths and weaknesses by asking others what they feel you could improve.
4. Focused. You will be viewed as focused by your fellow colleagues as you are the one that listens to everything and clearly understands it.
5. Negotiator. You will listen to both sides.
6. Get more. You will get more from lectures and meetings.
7. Gather Information. You will be able to gather the correct information needed from the people that have it in order to make your way up the professional ladder.
8. Avoid. You will be able to avoid any safety problems at home or at work.

As a communication skills trainer I understand that there can be many factors effecting your listening throughout the day. These factors can be either controllable or uncontrollable. As much as you may love the funny e-mail from a friend or blonde jokes from your colleague these are interruptions to your day and listening.

Concentration is totally exhausting and is one of the reasons why we tune out of the conversation or meeting. Another reason for not listening found through our communication skills training courses is that listening is passive yet we as a society are an action based culture, this is why on a communication skills course role play and group interaction is necessary to keep listening and concentration levels elevated and alert.